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Critical Thinking At Its Best.
Woman:
Do you drink beer?
Man: Yes

Woman:
How many beers a day?

Man:
Usually about 3

Woman:
How much do you pay per beer?

Man: $5.00 which includes a tip

(This is where it gets scary !)

Woman:
And how long have you been drinking?

Man:
About 20 years, I suppose

Woman:
So a beer costs $5 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450. In one year, it would be approximately $5,400 …correct?

Man:
Correct

Woman:
If in 1 year you spend $5,400, not accounting for inflation, the past
20 years puts your spending at $108,000, correct?

Man:
Correct

Woman:
Do you know that if you didn’t drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?

Man:
Do you drink beer?

Woman:
No

Man:
Where’s your Ferrari?

_________________
mobilito ergo sum
I drive therefore I am

I can explain it to you,
but I can't understand it for you.

Your pen is, well it's wonderful. I enjoyed using it last night. It has extra ordinary firm stroke. Initially its tip had to be licked to bring it to working order. I loved its perfect size & grip. I've always desired it & you fulfilled my wish. Many thanks once again.

I wonder if it was a fountain or ballpoint the Boss gave his Secretary upon her promotion?

Murphy, a furniture dealer from Dublin, decided to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris to see what he could find.

After arriving in Paris, he visited with some manufacturers and selected a line that he thought would sell well back home. To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine.

As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house.

Before long, a very beautiful young Parisian girl came to his table, asked him something in French (which Murphy could not understand), so he motioned to the vacant chair and invited her to sit down.

He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his language. After a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her. She nodded, so he ordered a glass of wine for her.

After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded. They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music.

They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. She nodded, and they got up to dance. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing up.

Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a four-poster bed. To this day, Murphy has no idea how she figured out he was in the furniture business.

_________________
Larry in Seattle

So I was sitting at a bar last night when this rude drunken overweight ugly woman asked me for my phone number.

I asked her if she had a pen to which she replied "yes".

So I told her to get back to it before the Farmer noticed her missing.

On the upside maybe some of you are suitable to become penpals with her?

Not being Catholic I can relate to this.

A drunk staggered into a Catholic Church and entered a confessional booth. He sat down but didn't say a thing.

The Priest coughed a few times to get his attention but the drunk continued to just sit there.

Finally, the Priest pounded on the wall and the drunk mumbled, "It ain't no use knockin . . .

there's no paper on this side either!"

I can hear you groaning from way over here!

_________________
mobilito ergo sum
I drive therefore I am

I can explain it to you,
but I can't understand it for you.

. . . . .

"When you see a mosquito landing on your testicles you realize that there is always a way to solve problems without using violence."

_________________
Larry in Seattle

That's good. .. Really good

_________________
"There are times when a broken tool is better than a sound one, or a twisted personality more useful than a whole one.
For instance, a whole beer bottle isn't half the weapon that half a beer bottle is ..." Randall Garrett

What the heck are your testicles doing out where a mosquito can get at them?

_________________
Bill H
Winnipeg, MB, Canada

Enjoying that freedom feeling?

_________________
Larry in Seattle

Please, for the sake of humanity, retract your question!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crFQpOCDfEc (Dean Martin - Baby It's Cold Outside by Frank Loesser)

_________________
"There are times when a broken tool is better than a sound one, or a twisted personality more useful than a whole one.
For instance, a whole beer bottle isn't half the weapon that half a beer bottle is ..." Randall Garrett

. . . . . .

[b]THAT'S THE ONE!!!! FOR GODS SAKE DON'T PEE OUT DOORS IF IT'S AROUND!!![/b][/size]

_________________
Larry in Seattle

Every 90 minutes, Bubba goes outside and moons the sky, in case that Gubmint spy satellite is passin' over.

_________________
JD, father of Quinn, Son of a... Build Log
Quinn the Slotus:Ford 302 Powered, Mallock-Inspired, Tube Frame, Hillclimb Special
"Gonzo and friends: Last night must have been quite a night. Camelot moments, mechanical marvels, Rustoleum launches, flying squirrels, fru-fru tea cuppers, V8 envy, Ensure catch cans -- and it wasn't even a full moon." -- SeattleTom