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PostPosted: June 19, 2014, 11:15 am 
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carguy123 wrote:
Attachment:
1.jpg



Hahhahahahahahahaha, that's a good one.

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PostPosted: June 19, 2014, 11:39 am 
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I so have to do that when I go!!!!!!!!

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PostPosted: June 19, 2014, 12:12 pm 
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It's a shame you wont' be around to enjoy it. But at least you an get a chuckle now.

I spewed when I first saw it.

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mobilito ergo sum
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I can explain it to you,
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PostPosted: June 23, 2014, 9:25 pm 
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I heard someplace "A Michigan State trooper pulled a car over on US 23 about 2 miles north of the Michigan/Indiana State line. When the trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver said he was a Magician and Juggler and was on his way to Ft. Wayne , IN to do a show at the Shrine Circus. He didn't want to be late.
The trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling and said if the driver would do a little juggling for him then he wouldn't give him a ticket. He told the trooper he had sent his equipment ahead and didn't have anything to juggle. The trooper said he had some flares in the trunk and asked if he could juggle them. The juggler said he could, so the trooper got 5 flares, lit them and handed them to him.
While the man was juggling, a car pulled in behind the patrol car. A drunken good old boy from Michigan got out, watched the performance, then went over to the patrol car, opened the rear door and got in. The trooper observed him and went over to the patrol car, opened the door asking the drunk what he thought he was doing.
The drunk replied, 'You might as well take my ass to jail, cause there ain't no way I can pass that test.'

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Quinn the Slotus:Ford 302 Powered, Mallock-Inspired, Tube Frame, Hillclimb Special
"Gonzo and friends: Last night must have been quite a night. Camelot moments, mechanical marvels, Rustoleum launches, flying squirrels, fru-fru tea cuppers, V8 envy, Ensure catch cans -- and it wasn't even a full moon." -- SeattleTom


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PostPosted: July 9, 2014, 6:26 pm 
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Shamelessly stolen from another forum.

Here’s an example of guy with a very positive attitude.

The other night I gradually woke up as stiff as a plank in a hospital's ICU, tubes up my nose & down my throat, wires monitoring every function, a hell of a pain over my left ear, and a gorgeous nurse hovering over me.

It was obvious I'd been in a serious accident.

She looked at me, and with a deep & steady voice I heard her slowly say, 'You may not feel anything from the waist down.'

I managed to mumble in reply,

'Can I feel your boobs, then?'

NOW THAT'S A POSITIVE ATTITUDE

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mobilito ergo sum
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I can explain it to you,
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PostPosted: July 17, 2014, 10:09 pm 
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Unfortunately this isn't really a joke, but a crime.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Gv0H-vPoDc

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mobilito ergo sum
I drive therefore I am

I can explain it to you,
but I can't understand it for you.


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PostPosted: July 19, 2014, 9:26 am 
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1998 Kia sportage that ive turbo'd ,jacked up and solid axle swapped

insert funny joke #-here-# ok :P
A panda walks into a cafe. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and proceeds to fire it at the other patrons. "Why?" asks the confused, surviving waiter amidst the carnage. The panda pauses on his way out, produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual, and tosses it over his shoulder. "Well, I'm a panda," he says at the door. "Look it up." The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation: "Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves.

it put a smile on my face


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PostPosted: July 19, 2014, 10:17 am 
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Bushranger wrote:
"Panda. native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves.



Hey, I resemble that remark!


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PostPosted: July 19, 2014, 10:52 am 
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Bushranger wrote:
"Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves.


And people on the internet say punctuation and capitalization don't matter. :cry:

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mobilito ergo sum
I drive therefore I am

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PostPosted: July 20, 2014, 11:23 am 
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After Nigeria was eliminated from the World Cup, the Nigerian Captain personally offered to refund all the expenses of fans that travelled to Brazil.

He said he just needs their bank details and pin numbers to complete the transaction.

........


A guy named James decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend.
One evening after the honeymoon he was replacing spark plugs and giving his car a good going over before the meet next weekend.
His wife was standing there watching him.
After a long period of silence she finally speaks. "Honey, I"ve been thinking, now that we are married I think it is time you gave up racing.
Maybe you should sell your race car."
James gets this horrified look on his face and drops his tools to the ground, grabs his chest, and starts to breathe really heavy.
She says, "Darling, what's wrong? "
James puts on a raspy voice and says very softly, "For a minute there you sounded like my ex-wife."
"Ex wife!" she screams, "I didn't know you were married before! "
"I wasn't "


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PostPosted: July 20, 2014, 1:31 pm 
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Yo, Cheapracer!
I stole the one about James and re-posted it on my SCCA region's Facebook page. That was about 30 minutes ago. Got 25 "Likes" already. Good one!!!!

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Quinn the Slotus:Ford 302 Powered, Mallock-Inspired, Tube Frame, Hillclimb Special
"Gonzo and friends: Last night must have been quite a night. Camelot moments, mechanical marvels, Rustoleum launches, flying squirrels, fru-fru tea cuppers, V8 envy, Ensure catch cans -- and it wasn't even a full moon." -- SeattleTom


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PostPosted: July 20, 2014, 7:02 pm 
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carguy123 wrote:
And people on the internet say punctuation and capitalization don't matter.


And then there's always the old classic;

"I have to help my uncle jack off the horse."

Two very different meanings depending on the capitalization or lack thereof.

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PostPosted: July 20, 2014, 7:04 pm 
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BHRmotorsport wrote:
carguy123 wrote:
And people on the internet say punctuation and capitalization don't matter.


And then there's always the old classic;

"I have to help my uncle jack off the horse."

Two very different meanings depending on the capitalization or lack thereof.




:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Al

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PostPosted: July 23, 2014, 9:35 am 
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BHRmotorsport wrote:
carguy123 wrote:
And people on the internet say punctuation and capitalization don't matter.


And then there's always the old classic;

"I have to help my uncle jack off the horse."

Two very different meanings depending on the capitalization or lack thereof.

And you can always invite your friends to "Take your hat and jacket off".

Bill


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PostPosted: July 23, 2014, 10:01 am 
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"Please pass me a fork and knife".


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